Yo Mista!

2010 was a superb year. I'm really excited for what's to come in 2011. As expected, I plan on hibernating for the next few days. You should too. Happy Holidays!

Shit is just flying all over the place because it’s the week before winter break. Vacation is just around the corner. When I was in high school, this particular week involved taking lots and lots of finals, so I was either cramming for exams or playing Goldeneye . Or both. Those were the good old days. To be completely fair, our trimester system doesn’t coincide with winter break; we’re nearly a third of the way through our second trimester. This means our first trimester finals already passed and our second trimester finals won’t happen until end of March. So basically, there’s nothing important happening this week. Shhh, you weren't supposed to know that kids. So as you probably guessed, attendance has been horrific (less than 55% some days). Some of the students who are actually still coming are acting out of control: there’s a ridiculous amount of chatter, foul language, inappropriate conduct, etc. Some seem to be showing up to first period [on a sugar?] high or quite simply

As a public school teacher, I'm on my feet in front of a group of teens for at least half of my work day. I have absolutely no issues presenting ideas in front of a large audience. I have no issues being the center of everyone's attention for a purpose. It recently occurred to me that I wasn't always this ballsy . Nearly ten years ago, I was an awkward, bumbling nerd giving a speech in front of my 10th grade English class. This class required every student to give informative, instructive and persuasive speeches throughout the year. There were minimum time requirements for each speech. We even had to come dressed up on speech day. My English teacher, Mr. B, would tally the number of times I'd blurt "um" and "like"  throughout my speeches. Needless to say, this was a challenging class that often scared the shit out of me. One of my most vivid memories of the class is nervously shaking behind the podium, clutching my index cards tightly as I tried

This last Friday was the last day of the first trimester. The first third of my second year of teaching is already over. Shit. There are lot of differences between last year and this year. I'm a little better at this game (I think) and certainly better prepared (I hope). Although I'm still working hard, I'm also working smart. I'm planning for time to think about my lessons rather than just being a mindless drone cranking out PowerPoint lessons and quizzes. I've learned I work best when I have the time to get creative, which is kind of insane because I had no idea I was capable of being "creative." Then again, number crunching 90 hours a week in Microsoft Excel wasn't exactly fostering creativity. Most of my "creative" time this trimester was spent tweaking my Personal Wealth Management class (a.k.a. finance for teens). It's an elective course at my school that is only a trimester long (12 weeks). This class serves as my escape: it

In the past few weeks, I've spent the better part of my spare time helping some students with their college applications. They are doing whatever it takes to delay getting started on their essays. Makes sense, the college essay can be intimidating, particularly for those students who never thought college was an option. Around Thanksgiving, it occurred to me that I am not exactly getting paid overtime for the extra time I'm putting in to do this shit. So why am I doing this? Well, I guess if you know me (and I don't even know if I even know me, so don't feel left out), then you must know that I didn't really join the teaching gig to roll around in wads of cash. Side note: Instead, I write this blog with the hopes of an editor from Penguin randomly finding it and offering me a book deal. Holding my breath. Starting now... It must be Monday evening because my mind is all over the place. It's been a long fucking day and now I'm sitting in grad school, freq

I wish I had a mini-Arnold Schwarzenegger in my classroom that would go around saying this when appropriate. Dear Santa: make it happen.

Don't be scurred kids. Sometimes, change can be a good thing.

A good friend of mine recently sent the transcript of a convocation ceremony speech by Adrian Tan for the graduating class of 2008 at NTU. I really liked it and thought it was inspiring. Here it is: Don't Work. Avoid Telling the Truth. Be Hated. Love Someone. " I must say thank you to the faculty and staff of the Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information for inviting me to give your convocation address. It’s a wonderful honour and a privilege for me to speak here for ten minutes without fear of contradiction, defamation or retaliation. I say this as a Singaporean and more so as a husband.   My wife is a wonderful person and perfect in every way except one. She is the editor of a magazine. She corrects people for a living. She has honed her expert skills over a quarter of a century, mostly by practising at home during conversations between her and me.   On the other hand, I am a litigator. Essentially, I spend my day telling people how wrong they are. I

It's almost mid-November and I guess that means it's time for the students who weren't 100% serious about change to start going back to their old ways. I'm beginning to have the same old conversations with different students. I had an epiphany last week and it kind of took me by surprise: my students will always be in the same age group every year I teach. It doesn't matter if I continue to mature or get old, they will still be the same. That's kind of discouraging.  I can't just one day decide I'm sick of having the "school is important for your future" conversation or the "life sucks for everyone, you just have to push yourself" conversation. In this age group, everybody thinks their problems are simply the worst. "No one has problems like me, Mista. You don't know me." Sometimes, depending on the student, I really just want to respond with: "I don't want to know you, brah. Can you please just do your hom

Parent teacher conferences are an interesting point in time for transfer high schools. Last year, my school only had a 20% turn out rate for parents (based on less than 120 students). Last night, we had about a 25% turn out rate, but now we're at nearly 200 students. Still a pretty shitty turn out, I must say. Supposedly though, this is "okay" for transfer schools because our students' parents might: ...not be as involved in the student's life. ...not be present everyday in the student's life. ...not have time because they are working. ...have better things to do (this relates to #1). ...be dead. For the parents that do actually come, their son/daughter is usually performing well or they have the capacity to perform well, but aren't pushing themselves. Either way, these students aren't the ones in danger of failing. The fact they even have a parent coming to discuss their performance is telling. I briefly talked about this yesterday with a few o

Like many other bloggers, I use Google analytics to gauge this blog's readership. That is, when I actually have the time. Google analytics allows me to see how hits received, where readers are in the world, and how they ended up on the blog to begin with (referrals). One of the features I recently set up provides me a summary e-mail of all the key words people have typed into search engines to arrive at this blog. Generally, people who use a search engine to come here usually type one of the following phrases: Yo mista! Yo mista.com Yo mista blog Yesterday, I received an e-mail from Google summarizing last week's search results. Everything seemed normal except for the very last result: "I need quality education for my kids in karachi" There it is, honest and bold. A father's desperate attempt to learn how to give his children access to education? Maybe, maybe not. Whoever this person was, they obviously didn't find what they were looking for on this bl

This week, I felt off. I was completely exhausted and my colleagues actually noticed, which was strange because I'm generally good at keeping up appearances. Superman would've been disappointed in me. I fell asleep during my favorite TV shows at home. That rarely happens. I haven't gone running all week. I've been snoozing through my alarms instead of waking up. I've made several mistakes in my PowerPoints. I just haven't been...sharp.  Luckily, there were a few diamonds in the rough this week that helped make the work days better. Emily , a student of mine who barely came last year has been working her ass off this year in both my classes (personal wealth management and algebra). Here's a text message exchange from Wednesday night: "19%... move the decimal twice to the right?" asks Emily. "That would make it 1900..." I reply. "Oh yeah... left! I knew that. Thanks!" Emily was doing her algebra homework (exponential decay)

Remember sitting at your desk, waiting for the teacher to come by and hand over your exam? An awkward divide between students celebrating and others putting their heads down on their desks. Even more awkward if the test was handed back to you face down. That's when you know you fucked up. I can't remember there being any worse feeling in high school than getting a shitty grade. Thanks Mom . I handed back graded projects and exams last Friday and today. The project involved grading an exam "I" had taken. The point was to get my students to think about the correct or incorrect work shown and then figure out on their own whether or not the selected answer was marked correctly. Students also had to explain their rationale for their answers. As expected, my students did fairly better on the project than on the exam, even though the exam was basically very similar to the exam they had to grade in the project. My conclusion is that students generally took their time

This week, my Algebra class had two major assignments:  A project where they had to grade someone else's exam and thoroughly explain their rationale for each question A Mock-Regents examination (covering all material from September to last week) My school allows students to intern for teachers as part of a "Learn to Work" program. This allows me to delegate simple grading tasks and use the additional time to plan. After my intern finishes grading, I simply go through the work, make corrections (if necessary) and drop the numbers into my ridiculous excel grade tracker. If my intern finishes early, I force him/her to study for the SAT or work on college apps.  Yeah, I know, I'm pretty amazing. Thanks for the thought. So, today my intern and I grading the Algebra exams after school. The results were a mixed bag: some students did incredibly well, others did so-so and a few scored ridiculously low. When my intern finished grading a "ridiculously low" exam,

A few days ago, I was sitting on my thinking chair remembering my first teaching interview. This experience was not only hilarious, but it also provided me with some insight into how much fun I was going to have in this profession. A few of you may already know this story. In April of 2009, I was in between jobs. I wasn't working on Wall Street anymore and I still had a few months to go before Teach for America's summer training program started. Teach for America (TFA) gave me an advantage in the job hunt in that they started sending my resume out to schools before I had even started training. Of course, TFA doesn't just send you off to interviews to act like an idiot: I had a few interview prep sessions with a placement associate, Jennifer. Jennifer was helpful, honest and quite frankly, supremely nice. I can't thank her enough for the school placement I have today. My first interview was with a high school in the Brownsville [insert brown person joke here] regio

For those of you who missed the Teacher Town Hall on Sunday (hosted by Brian Williams), here's a complete and unedited version. Some excellent points were brought up by teachers, parents and third-parties. It seems education is finally getting some attention in this country. Visit msnbc.com for breaking news , world news , and news about the economy

Okay, look. I know the week isn't over. In fact, it's just getting started, but I heard some funny ass shit yesterday and I thought it deserved it's own post. Kareem and Antonio are bright students at my school. I've written posts about them here and here . They passed their Geometry Regents Exam last June. My school doesn't offer mathematics beyond Geometry yet, so they're enrolled in Algebra 2 at another school in the same building during first period. During one of my free periods yesterday, they both strolled in as they needed a space to study for a make up test. Antonio took over my SMART Board (note: this image is not of Antonio and Kareem, although that would be quite funny). He began putting up some Algebra 2 practice problems. Then he put up more problems. And then he put up even more problems: " Kareem , focus. Let's this synthetic division problem. What happens to the x ?" Kareem grabbed his head; he was not happy with this si

Holy definite integral , Batman! My students are actually doing their homework; and they're actually showing effort and doing them properly! WTF , mate? Last year, I had pretty simple homework policy: there was no homework. I had tried giving homework at the beginning of the year and the return rate was pretty pathetic. To be fair, transfer high school students have lives beyond the life of a stereotypical high school suburbanite. They work to support their households. Some of them have kids of their own to take care of. As an alternative to homework, I gave a mini quiz at the end of class everyday (yes, very Teach for America -like), which was supposed to pressure students to focus in class. It did work (well, sort of): I had an ~80% average for daily quiz grades. Unfortunately, no homework also meant no retention. So by the time the Regents exams came along in January and June, the students who weren't letting the material sink in properly ended up failing. Miserably. Ser

We have new students. Here's a memorable quote from one of them during Algebra as I was explaining the difference between rational and irrational numbers: "Yo Mista, are you Jewish? You look like that Jewish comedian on the TV. Your hair is mad fro-y." I explained where I was from, but had to turn to my handy dandy class globe to give a mini-geography lesson on where Pakistan and Iran are. You'd think they would know based on world news: it's fair to say I come from the two most popular countries in the world right now... We will be accepting approximately 10-20 new students every week until mid-October or so. Look for more gems like these over the next few weeks.

Tomorrow is the first day of school for my students. I spent the better part of today getting my classroom ready. I was super tempted to buy this poster for my class, but I'm pretty sure promoting someone who moonlights as a serial killer would be inappropriate for school. Too bad, it's a great show. I'm having a hard time trying to figure out how I feel about tomorrow. I'm excited, yet scared. Unfortunately, I can't seem to wrap my head around how I feel. I will write a more thorough post on this when I can properly express myself. For now, enjoy this video (Thanks Alpha Za ). The Onion

In high school, I worked my ass off all four school years to get into a good college. But that meant I rewarded myself by doing jack shit over the summer. My summer vacations usually consisted of sleeping, video games, sports, and during my junior and senior years, jamming with my band. Yo Mista! Trivia: Can you guess what I played in my band? Hint: I sucked. Anyway, I didn't read books during the summer nor did I engage in thoughtful debate during sleepovers. Who does that kind of shit anyway? I'd rather be shotgunning covenant soldiers in the face to show off how manly I am (not that I need to).   A few days ago, two of my former Algebra students, Kareem and Havana , began e-mailing each other (and CC'ed me) in what it appeared to be a debate about religion and the existence of God. FYI, it is still summer vacation for high schools in New York City. Therefore, my logic dictates these kids are either completely insane or incredibly intelligent. Thoughts? For backgro

Hey kids (and some adults), Stop fucking around on all those iPods, iPhones, Droids, Blackberries, Kindles (ha! if you have a kindle, please disregard all of this), Palms, and other smart phones/devices. Why? Because according to this , you're getting dumber. Please, be considerate. Stop it. Don't make my job any harder than it already is. Thanks.

In the past few weeks, I've been back at my school off and on for the following reasons: Planning curriculum with my department (which usually just means we're doing Beavis and Butthead impersonations all day) Helping grade the August Algebra Regents (there were only 6) Showing my younger brother where I work (he was here for a week!) It's been weird, but every time I went back, I left the building with a small, controlled burst of optimism. Small because I'm now fully aware of the physical and emotional demands the school year will make and I'm a bit scared. Controlled because, well, I don't want to get too excited - last year my students started the year strong but by the end of the first trimester, a majority of them went back to their old ways. I suppose this year I will beat myself up less about it. Not. At one point this week, my fellow math teachers (I have two colleagues now, as opposed to just one) and I were discussing the upcoming school year

If you haven't watched TV or read the news lately, Pakistan has been suffering from extreme flooding. 1,500 people have died thus far and another 13.8 million people have been affected. The government is struggling to get aid to the victims due to heavy infrastructure damage.  Please help by donating as much as you can. A mere $5 will go a long way. Here are some links: UNICEF Global Giving The UN Refugee Agency

Two years ago around this time period, I received my first investment banking analyst bonus. The process went exactly the way authors have described it in books and directors have portrayed it in movies. Your phone rings and from the caller ID you see it's the head of your group. The big daddy. The brass of the brass. A big swinging dick (to borrow a term from Liar's Poker ). He wants you to swing by his office. He asks that you walk in on your knees so as to make things go quicker. Okay fine, maybe that last bit isn't true, but that's how most analysts felt walking into these types of situations. You sit down in his gigantic corner office with spectacular views of Manhattan. He tells you the following - [insert analyst name], you've been a tremendous asset to the group this year. As you know, in our business we reward those who we value. We consider you a top analyst here at [investment banking firm]. Take a look at this and tell me what you think.  He gives y

As you've no doubt noticed, I haven't written shit in a very long time. I apologize. I blame grad school and beautiful weather for this. Until my classes finish (2 more weeks), I don't think I'll be writing much here since I'm already writing so much for school. There will be an occasional post here and there, so please do check in periodically. Look for things to pick back up in full swing mid-August. Thanks for your messages on Gchat, Facebook, etc. asking for new entries and demanding that I write!

I've been thinking about how to write this post for a while because it was such an eye-opening experience. I need to put some things into context first: I've been to Karachi almost every other year of my life. I'm in my mid-twenties now, so I've actually been there quite a lot for an American-born Pakistani. But then again, I don't really consider myself the typical American-Pakistani plagued with identity issues. I'm sure that makes me much less annoying (you're welcome). In the past, I used to stay with my extended family: aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. (who ranged anywhere from lower-middle class to simply middle class). So prior to this trip, I had an incomplete idea about what the state of education was like in Pakistan. I mean, I knew there was a system in place, but I didn't know how useless it really was. I remember my cousins spent a lot time with private tutors getting additional help. In fact, a lot of them would cut classes or school al

I'm back in the country and I have a lot on my mind. Unfortunately, time has not been on my side lately as I started two new grad classes the day after I came back. There will be some more posts to come in the next few days in which I intend to discuss certain aspects of my trip to Pakistan. For now, enjoy this video which we saw on our first day in my "Teaching Linguistically and Culturally Diverse Adolescents" class. I thought it was pretty funny.

I'm on vacation right now in Karachi and I shouldn't blog, but I have to. I left for vacation the day my Algebra students took their New York State Regents Examinations. I would be lying if I said I wasn't curious as to how they did. Actually, it's been a dull hunger that goes away with just the right amount of entertainment, but comes right back the second I'm not in the moment with something. I mean for fuck's sake, they're my students, I ought to know how they did. When I logged in for the first time yesterday and saw the summary of results, I felt a variety of things. Pride wasn't one of them. The initial numbers were quite disappointing.  Fuck man, there were a lot of failures. There were success stories too, and a few very surprising success stories (and I mean very surprising - which makes me question a lot of other things). I let my emotions get the best of me because I immediately closed the spreadsheet and put my fist to my mouth. Is it

School is nearly done. It feels strangely familiar, but different in a way. The school year wrapped up this week with next week being Regents examination week. As a result, the atmosphere within classrooms has become lax in the past few days. I think as teachers, we see the light at the end of the tunnel and look forward to the time off. The students who have done their best all year still come to school and now have nothing to worry about, so they have fun. The kiddos who did jack shit all year are working their asses off to make up for their year-long stupidity. To me, that's still fine because there are others who have simply stopped coming to school altogether... There's only so much I can worry about. I like the feeling I get when something tough or trying is near completion. When I was in high school, things were always pretty cool around June. Teachers were fun to hang out with - we'd shoot the shit and watch funny movies. The gym would be open and we could play

I can't believe it's June already. Last year in June, I was living "in-between" jobs and it was everything I thought it would be (FYI: I thought it would be awesome ). I had a lot of time off between investment banking and Teach for America's summer training program. I spent most of this time getting fit, cooking, going to coffee shops, reading, watching TV and doing home improvement projects. I was living the retired life at 24 years old, which I suppose makes me a baller. I accept. On top of that, I also co-starred in a short film produced by NYU Tisch graduate students. When I left banking, a good friend forwarded me a casting call for a director needing someone South Asian in a lead role. The movie was to be a short ten minute reinterpretation of O.Henry's The Gift of the Magi . In this version, a laid off investment banker has trouble finding a job and supporting his pregnant wife. My friend convinced me this role was basically written for me and tha

In a previous post ("Stupefied"), I wrote about how frustrated I was when only 11 out of 30 students showed up for the first day of their free SAT-prep class. Attendance has been extremely shitty since the program started, with only three students showing up today for the final class. One student enrolled in the SAT prep class - let's call him Antonio - didn't even come to school today. In fact, he would have missed this class had another student not ditched his own 7th period class to drag his ass over here. Yes, you read correctly up there: drag his ass over here. Antonio lives a whopping four blocks away from school. Yet, for some reason his attendance is absolutely disgusting. He's frequently at home or at a book store reading, researching random shit online or video gaming. Still, this is nothing new for teachers these days, so why am I making this such a big deal? Maybe it's because Antonio is ridiculously intelligent. He is one of the quickest le